19 May 2011

TarraGONE

I was so glad to see our Jenni again after a weekend away from her...
We were adventuring about, "just looking" at farms for a possible weekend getaway and lifestyle investment... but that's a whole different story all together.

It was a very inspiring breakaway and to me one of our more romantic weekends away together, but I am always glad to come back "home" and even more so since spending 2 days without our "baby" (Jenni). She is so cute and friendly and such a truly happy little pup, but Oh so demanding!! When I peeked around the garden to see what's still growing and where new holes to china have appeared I discovered my little tarragon (now
tarra-gone!) plant ripped out and wilted under the bushwillow. :( ahhh, oh well, I expected far worse. There's no use crying over spilled milk and I suppose my beautiful garden WILL suffer at the red paws of the demanding miss Cutie-pie until she's a little older. I made my beds and now she will sleep in them (and pull out a few plants while she's at it ;)

In the above pondering resides a bunch of very important
philosophical decisions and real life facets tied up together...

First in my mind is the philosophy that I have always had: You will never know until you try... Indeed, and actually I'm still not even certain whether having a dog is working for us or not... I know that it still CAN work out, if things improve a little on the side of her demands... but I also know that if our priorities/needs changed (eg. if we had to travel abroad while she's still so young and time-consuming/ if we have a baby and our time is even more restricted, etc.) things could go horribly wrong and we could end up with an undisciplined, even more demanding burden on our time.

The same with the farm. Well, actually even worse, because a dog is a couple of thousand rands worth of hassle, where a farm could be a couple of Million rands' chronic pain. Although I know that I would REALLY like to try it, there are all sorts of factors counting against this decision. But if we just forgot about all the issues and difficulties of farming in the first place, what worries me most is the realisation that there is an obvious difference between the dream and the reality. Knowing my own personal flaws I have experienced the enormous difference between what I always imagined something would be and what it truly is! What I imagined I'd have time for and what I become to lazy to do or just too obsessed with some new thing... etc. To be VERY honest I don't think I have what it takes to make this dream a reality on the steam of my own desires and wishes, I will have to go into it only if I have a partner equally enthusiastic, equally
committed and equally crazy to plunge in and make it work out. Hmmm...? A VERY hard decision indeed!

But just look how awesome the natural setting is: I can just see the horses, cattle and alpacas grazing in these "paddocks" :)



It is such a dreamy place and a true inspiration from nature!!





Another little recent "adventure" (more of a mishap), that illustrated to me that I could actually make very dangerous decisions... was when I nearly poisoned the 2 of us with an experimental gourd cooking... BIG warning! Not all gourds are edible!! Well, I'm not even entirely sure if ANY of the gourds are edible, but I should have known that something I can't even pronounce is most likely not food! ;)
Oh goodness, I was trying out a new recipe of baby courgette flowers and decided to cut the courgette with flower attached in half and fry it in Parmesan. It was indeed YUMMY until we took a bite of one of the baby gourds (uhgg! I shiver at the memory of that bitter taste in my mouth). My courgette plants didn't have enough blossoms on them yet, so I thought - well, there are 100s of these baby gourds.... BIG mistake! There is a good reason why some seeds and plants are labelled as ORNAMENTAL. I doubt whether we would have ever eaten enough of the disgusting things to kill us, but it could have turned out VERY badly! And my credibility as fresh produce grower and collector has needless to say become questionable. Hunny is starting to give me a strange sideways glance at every meal as if to say: are you sure this is EDIBLE?

What is currently most obvious to me is that I am NOT realistic enough to be allowed to to trust my own gut feelings about things, I am not dedicated enough to make something that is an already difficult enterprise work if there were any sort of crisis and I have all the creativity and ideas, but
basically zero experience and it's a whole lot more than purely money that is on the line for me! I could manage the "risks" by employing the right person, but that in itself is also another different ball game and we are most probably just not truly ready for this adventure quite yet. But it's just sooo PRETTY!! :)

If only
prettyness could really make you money... ;) Sometimes the reality of things are just so harsh and I guess it's better looking, drooling, from the outside than sitting, stressed and stuck on the inside of a picture that looks amazing, but really isn't when it's you who has to make it work. Even more so when it's not working and you have to then try to get out with enough limbs and integrity intact. After all I'm not sure if I have the time? I'm running around again buying new fish - yes, I just couldn't wait anymore and had to buy some koi! :P Probably not such a wise move, but after discovering that poor little Lang (who's now huge Lang after only 3 or 4 months!) is alive! I got so excited and decided it's time to get more. ;)

Look how
awesomely cute and pretty our new fish baby is ;) I still have to think of a good name for her... has to be a girl, coz she's so pretty ;) *Very scientific*


I also just have to show a peek of our awesome vegetables fresh from the garden, that we had last night. Hunny made us some HECTIC chili-olive-oil with the last batch and this time shouldn't be any different - it's gonna be awesome! :) It is still such a fulfilling experience to pick your very own organically produced veggies. It's even more fun with the cats and Jenn bouncing along, getting all excited about the meander and collecting of "toys" ;) Jenn likes to "steal" whatever I am picking and run around with it in her mouth and yesterday she picked up one of the Cayenne chillies :D heeheee, she dropped that one soon enough. LOL Hopefully that will teach her!

All our dinner tonight will be from the garden







In conclusion, I still believe that we won't know what something's like or if it could be successful until we try it, but this time it's not worth the shot just for that reason! Even if we weren't reliant on the money possibly wasted on the whole business the experience could just be one we never should have had? And quite possibly I guess... we will never know? One Small change in our life could change the prospects instantly and it's NOT just a small replaceable bush of tarragon. It's hard when you have to make such big decisions, especially if you have to keep other people in mind. Maybe I should stick to all the awesome things I already have in my life, I should tend to the garden and find more cool veggies to pick. Besides, we have this very cool looking black chili plant that I'm trying to figure out if it's actually edible or just ornamental? ;) hard to say, internet resources are contradicting, so we need a guinea pig... Maybe Jenni would like to steal some ;)

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