But wait, there's more to complain about... (August chapter 2)

Ok, so what else is "unhappying" me...?

The garden - oh @%@%@%@ there is SUCH a lot "wrong" with our garden :(

There are So many things to fix and to do, but I just really don't have the time and cannot do all of it on my own!

 

So - moving on to the rest of the garden... well, most of the back garden was either "remodeled" by the dog... or destroyed by the broken stormwater pipe that had to be dug up all the way from the front to the back on the one side of the house (that was at least R 5 000 's landscaping that had to be redone, and what we did was clearly not sufficient because many of the things don't seem to grow so well there)  :(

I am just so frustrated with all the things I "should be" doing and also want to fix, but just don't have the time for! And pets who are not "playing along" even after a lot of time and good work (according to "the book") that I put into them...

According to some good philosophy, it is a good idea to counter every complaint with something  that is positive about the situation, however small!! Think I should try this. I hope that it works!

Something else that irritates the S#%!@ out of me is the builders - who are STILL busy fixing things - at least they finished up last week with the December list and now they are on the Feb/March snag list. What p*sses me off the most about it is that they will do absolutely NOTHING for MONTHS until I am at home one week and THEN they come to fix things. If only they could at least call me beforehand to let me know someone is coming to the house!! This is so infuriating, but I know it won't help to get even more upset about people knocking on my door while I'm in my PJ's... writing blogs and trying to have a little "Me-time" :P

Small + At least it gives the dog some exposure to visitors ringing the front door bell... and her having to sit and "wait" before she can wriggle and pee all over the floor ;) - why does my life feel insane?

Anyway - I just decided that I will NOT phone the building project-manager and complain about the unexpected "visitors" because #1 I've done it before and clearly it doesn't help at all and # 2 I'm hoping that if I just accept it at not fight the way it is that it will go away?? one can only be hopeful. I think it's worth a try :P

I have had the privilege and pleasure of complaining to my boyfriend about all the things that "I have decided" make me unhappy... BUT - is it really life that's out to get me or do I seek excuses as to why I cannot just Be happy or at the very least just content with life?! Do I create my own obstacles to feel more entertained? A lot of people only want what they think they can't have... and almost as soon as they have it they have to find something new to desire, a next quarry to chase, better results, more, bigger, better... but is this really better? Is constantly seeking more a good thing? Does it assist us? Does it do us any good?

I guess my frustrations are partly due to the possibility that I had my goals set too high to start with (or more likely ideals/ imaginings that were just waaaaay unrealistic!!). Even though I have 'solved' my problem it makes me more than just a little sad. :(

It is rather depressing in a way because I seem to have almost everything I dared to dream about! I have a horse, a dog, an awesome boyfriend...a Big garden exactly the way I planned it (well - almost!) And that seems to be the key to my unhappiness... everything is so near-perfect, but yet so far from it! I guess I had too many great expectations about all of them once again and ... I do realise that life would just be easier to bear if I could adjust my ideals and increase my tolerance to imperfection, but I guess I am scared that if I settle for the less than perfect state of things then life will never be spectacular!! And I guess I have always been brought up with the idea that one should try to be spectacular! WHY - god only knows...? or does s(he)?

I just have this immense drive to do things close to perfectly and it is keeping me away from just being content with life.

So - now - how do I fix this... any ideas?