20 November 2012

Pointless things

A good while ago I made a comment on a manically depressed person's blog and I never had any feedback from him since... which made me wonder... did he die? Would he have killed himself? How would I be able to find out? 

I wonder what will happen to my blog when I die? How long before there is no activity will Google shut it down? Does your spouse or best friend get access to all your internet accounts and announce your passing? Do they just delete everything you shared with the virtual world? What happens to your online life when you die?

Anyway, I am just posting to say I'm still alive and well. The past 6 months have been super busy and I'm still not quite on top of all my admin-type things. I still haven't managed to get into anything resembling a routine (flexibility has its disadvantages) and I constantly feel like I'm behind in everything that I have set out to do. This is somewhat depressing, but I must admit that a lot has been done. The problem is just that there is always still so much more to do. It never ends and this is starting to drive me insane. As in really! :( 

One day everything will get better, until then here's a picture of a Rooster ;)

Just as soon as you think that all the pointless little things have been sorted the laptop fizzles out or your phone's simcard dies. I've been busy with irritating management issues like renewing my passport, driving around town to find a new UV light for the fish pond filter and taking the car for a service. I am also tasked with regular garden maintenance duties like pulling out invader grass from the lawn and trimming hedges, because the gardener, who comes only once a week, has more heavy lifting to do (and besides, he wouldn't know the difference between indigenous and invasive grass and the hedges are at a stage where it is too easy to F* it all up, so I need to do it). At least we have sorted out the koi pond, well, mostly. I can now see them when they swim around 15 cm from the surface. Wish I could manage a good photo of the pretties, but you know fish... 

So, I guess that at present all I can report back on is the continued frustration of being in command of your own time, not having a boss anymore and the freedom to go horse riding whenever you wish to, but still feeling guilty because you can't manage to find enough time to do it properly. Do I get a high5?! :/ 

Due to this nagging feeling of non-achievement I find myself in constant need to obsessively write down EVERYTHING that I have spent time on every day, because I fear that days will be lost if I don't report on what I do with my time. This pointless task of course takes up even more time, but this is my preference and shall remain a dysfunctional part of me until I can manage to get some real work done.

My sanity rests on the fact that at least our initial snag list for the house has been checked and WE HAVE A FUNCTIONING POSTBOX!! One that opens and closes properly and doesn't rain in. At last! :D 

However, as you've guessed there is a brand new snag list to sort out... Only 4 items on it, but you know how each insignificant item on a snag list that drags on for MONTHS can become such a Big deal! *sigh* 

I SO WISH that there could be a time when all the items on my to do list would be checked, done, waxed, sorted and I could just focus on actually painting something... Alas! Life happens, every day.

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