Back again: November 2021

Hello again.

It has been very, VERY long since my last post and for the sake of avoiding a cliche recollection of how, why and what exactly happened in my life: I shall in stead bullet-point my past 8 years.

Since 2013 my boyfriend and I

* got Engaged * Married * had our first (and only) Child*

After January 2016

* I developed Post-Partum depression

* Found out I have Adult-ADHD

* Found out that I am Autistic ( kind of a shocker!)

Several other things happened in between, including:

* marital issues * high-conflict Divorce mediation, starting 2021 * child custody evaluations *

* an enormous amount of Animosity in the household * Hurt, Sadness * and Healing! *

These past 5 years have been an extremely difficult process and many times I felt helpless and flooded by all the uncertainty and tons of Social confusion. I'm often exhausted.

But. I manage to find new sources of recovery, energy, assistance, great guidance, good emotional support... and a little bit of Magic ;)

Since our son was born I studied self-healing methods, I read books on EQ (Emotional intelligence), found ways to clear my mind and still have times where I fall down and have to get back up, but the difficult times occur less frequently and the intensity is less and shorter-lived. So, I grow more hopeful.

I found essential assistance in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Youtube videos (on various subjects) and discovered a tool called Enneagram coaching :)

I struggle through Motivational speeches and religiously take my ADHD medication. ALL of this helps. I keep ALL the big and little tools that help me to get better and then i lose them in the clutter and later find them again

The new-found guidance on my future path makes me excited and creates passion and energy for me to tackle this future :)

Now I am re-inventing myself and I have asked: "What IF i feared Nothing! " and lo and behold, I am starting to discover a way of achieving this No-fear mindset. A new "Life Magic".

The story continues and I will not find enough time to write all that I wish to, but I attempt to record most of it and distill what I have learned in the past 10 to 12 years into blog posts. Things have been extremely tough and I still have ups and downs, but with reduced intensity. The down times pass faster.

I celebrate every small Improvement, even when others refuse to acknowledge or appreciate it!

And I start to find more hours of Fearing Nothing!

So, I sign off by saying I wish you all the very best and many moments of feeling Strong. It is not always possible, but at some stage it will be if you only hold on.

WhyNot

Its been a While.

My Goodness, what can I say besides: its been a While. 

3 ... No 4 Years since I've had the time and energy to write anything again that does not concern immediate family, medical admin or property maintenance.

So: what has been happening in the meantime? Well for one we eventually bought a smallholding (more a small farm without water..) and then started planting some trees and a few months later we found out that I was pregnant. Much of the rest was is little bit of a blurr, since raising newborn babies and sleep deprivation is certainly harder for some to cope with and I was not that lucky in that regard. I think it took me at least a year and 8 months before I felt human again.

So, fast forward two or 3 years since we purchased our little agricultural property and we now finally have 3 horses staying there plus some stray cats and a rainshelter/ feed room shed with enough hay to last about 5 months. Pretty special :) The last time I blogged I was still working I think... and then I stopped work so that I could pursue a career in art (haaa haaaa. hmmm), writing a novel and to have more time to do things like Blog (hmmmm.. *snort* ) so yes, neither of those two have been happening. BUT we did get married, went on honeymoon, found out we were pregnant, quick baby-moon to France and now here I am. A mommy. wow!

Mommy stories will follow much later, for the moment I wish to talk more about the other non-mommy things that make me ME and at the moment my gardening and horses are what makes me feel alive.

I have spent countless hours doing research into what types of trees/shrubs/groundcovers to plant and how to space and stack them all together with water-collecting ditches (or swales) to make a super-sufficient and sustainable permaculture-like system for ourselves and our animals. One thing I did NOT anticipate was the amount of manure that 4 or 5 horses can produce in the space of 2 months! :o wow!! Glorious. No, really, they produce the most fantastic growing medium for any sort of plant under the sun... ok, except for fynbos species that prefer poor, acidic soil... but anything that is edible will grow in cured horse manure like weeds. In fact: the horse manure piles have started sprouting their own mushrooms already! :D even when standing in full sun, which is bizarre, I always thought that Mushrooms must have dark or shady conditions. Apparently not. 

We also have a few volunteer sunflowers coming up, which is from the few sunflower seeds the horses don't manage to chew that well and swallow whole in stead :) It all makes me VERY excited!! :) I'm much impressed by what has been happening at our place thus far. Even though things are moving V.E.R.Y slowly there is progress and it is amazing to be out in the FRESH air, to hear Fisheagles calling and birds, horses snorting and horsing around. They LOVE to play and run at full speed only to stop and then graze a little more before taking a lie down snooze in the sun. Our only hassle so far really has been the ticks (SHeeesh! there are SOOOO many ticks this year!!) and the occasional issues with the water systems (which seems to be solved at last). Our part of the country has been extremely dry the past two years and the lack of planning on government's side is creating a very tense water-crisis situation. At least for the moment our mini-farm has enough water for us and the animals to drink and possibly have a quick bath in, so I guess that if our water in the city dries up completely we will have to go collect supplies at the farm? :/ far drive, although I go there almost every day now anyway, so it is an option.

So, now I've been spending a bit of time thinking about what exactly I would like to write about on my blog... since life has changed a great deal for our family and I've shifted my focus and desires from complaining about the things that are not as I want them to be and in stead to celebrate the possibilities of today and of the future. There hasn't been that much change in the world (everybody is still fighting, as they always have, my husband is still looking at options of working in another country > he will travel to America this coming week), politics, weather, economic recession, corruption etc etc are still going strong. As they always have. But I have decided to shift my focus from all of the negative things (and things I have no control over) to the possibilities and the lovely tIhings we have right in front of us here and now! It seems like a pretty simple task, but it definitely isn't. If I had to try and explain how I got to this stage I wouldn't understand my own writing... so I will not attempt. I  have just decided though that life is short, celebrate what you have around you already, grow where you are planted and that you cannot EAT money >> savings are not as essential as making the most of the beautiful things that are in front of you. There are no guarantees in life, so give it a good shot so you will enjoy your time as much as you can. Within reason of course. You need to save up for emergencies, pay your insurance, medical aid , prepare for retirement etc, but don't hold yourself back all the time >> the horse needs to go for a full gallop every now and again! And so do YOU.

 : D

So is stead of moaning and complaining some more about all the maintenance issues around our house that are STILL not resolved... I have decided that I would like. to share with the public a few special stories that I have come across per occasion. I've found allsorts of very very interesting people along the way and the more positivity I focus into my days the more fantastic, exciting people I seem to find as well. It sounds too cliche, but it is try=uly so! I've discovered amaaaazing people just around the corner and right next door to me! I am VERY excited about the wonderful experiences we are sharing and some of those people either have a great way of telling their snippits of entertaining everyday life or they have very REAL, intense experience in the world that makes you look at life at a slightly less whimsical angle. They can make you realise that what we are on this planet is a very tiny grain of sand in the desert of eternal time. They also make you realise that we are actually VERY fortunate in the services, technology, education that we have. Some stories will make you shiver, wonder, contemplate what it really is that you are trying to achieve with your life. Those are my favourite type of stories. SO I'm hoping to get permission from a few of my newfound "friends" to post their stories about THEIR piece of LIFE on this planet.

Speak soon :)

PS: no time to Edit the life out of my posts anymore >> please take them as they come.

Greener Pastures

Wow! I must be one of the worst Bloggers in the world?! Not counting the ones who just forget about their blogs completely and never return, leaving it all just "hanging" in cyberspace without a single response to comments. I guess I'm lucky in that sense, that I don't get many comments... *sulk* maybe that's why I haven't made time to update in such a long time? :/ Hmmm, it's been a while... 

I have been rather busy though!

A lot has happened, but I know you'll want the best news 1st, so might as well spill the beans... We got Engaged! :D Yeah! At last ;) It happened during our month-long holiday in France (April/May). Although I have to admit that a whole month of holiday is just FAR too long, a little bit of an overkill. It was pretty Awesome none the less. Aahhhhh, France is so beautiful! Really. REALLY! I never expected it to look the way it does... vast open spaces (we spent most of our time in the countryside), forests, HUGE forests. I suppose we also have National parks here in South Africa, but ours are all fenced off and you have to drive FAR and wide to get there and you have to pay entry fees etc. In France it seemed like every farm had its own mini forest, full of little buck and all sorts of wildlife. There are enormous backbones of forest that join many of the farm forests together and if you pull over from the highway and walk into the "wilderness" for only a few meters the birds are almost deafening! :) It was very magical. The countryside is definitely my favourite part about France and it's VERY green, well, a lot more than most of SA, they get a lot more rain than we do. 

Hello Kitty! :D

Monday... always a rather eventful day. Also the day that I recap our house's snaglist with the builder. Yes, you are correct... we moved into the house a whole 2 years ago and there are still things to snag about ;) BUT at least these are new snags and not the list from Feb 2011 anymore. I do not imagine that we will have even half this list done by the end of the year, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying my best! At least these snags are things that I can mostly live with, like a cracked drainage pipe, a fused downlighter that is stuck, a broken doorstop, etc. Nothing that I tend to notice as I walk past it, except the bathroom mirrors that are still just mismatched place-holders for the "Real" mirrors and the missing splashback above the stove, but those are being worked on - sort of. I called the project manager today and apparently he is "overseas". Hmmm, had I not been so busy I'd be curious enough to phone his office to hear where he's gallivanting off to while we still have a load of snags to sort out before year-end. :P In stead I contacted the few sub-contractors that I have gotten hold of before to beg them to PLEASE come and sort our shit out before the long-weekend! Otherwise my New-Years To Do List will be even longer. :(

Anyhow... I am momentarily released from my cynical duties and can enjoy life like a child once more, because we got a new KITTEN!! She arrived last week and is the most adorable little fuzz-ball I've ever played with. The most personable and cuddly baby Ever! :) I was as excited about this cat as a pre-schooler counting down the days before Christmas! I could barely live with my excitement. And last week we could FINALLY go and fetch her :D. I am completely in love with life when I get to play with her. The first night she slept on my head and the second in my arms. She just LOVES us and wants to sleep where she can touch us all the time. I would love to rave on about our awesome little Kitty-cat (Oh yes, her name is Minki), but I am SO tired and honestly haven't even the energy to post a pic just yet. Shall hopefully do so tomorrow?

To Leave or not to leave?

Spring has been here for a while now and that has meant making new veg planter boxes, sowing all sorts of strange seeds and raising baby chickens. The season took its time to arrive this year. We had a very dragged out period of dreary, Wintery weather and none of my seeds would come up. I'd enthusiastically sowed basil and coriander and seen no results for weeks, but now is the time! Things are blooming and seeds just want some water and they're off to a running start and I am struggling to find any open space in which to plant some more cool things.

Anybody who has been following the news in SA lately will know that Spring also brought a Sh*tload of worker strikes all over our country, including the Western Cape (where the last bit of civilization has been hanging on by a thread). We are facing SERIOUS political unrest due to politically motivated criminal activity and it is happening all over the country. This is a much debated issue in every household, including ours and it was a very bright and sunny South African day when I finally realised that we don't belong to this country anymore. With 'us' I mean anybody with the resources to get out of here within reasonable time... but mostly white South Africans. I have been one of the optimistic 'youngsters' who believed that our country would only go through a few teething problems and then make a good, mature recovery from its past, but it is evidently not the case. I now suspect the people of this land will first burn it to the ground before they start building anything up and that will take too long for my heart to ever rest safely in a feeling of belonging to this world. I said to a good friend today that if we ever wondered when the water was getting too hot, it is Now! People are burning down farms in illegal protests a mere 200 km from our house, 55 km from my family's farm... It is getting too hot in here, the frog is boiling and I for one would rather get out with more than the clothes on my back! :( it is very sad, but true... We are not Welcome here anymore and I am not one to argue with the type of dim-witted people who burn down their only source of income in protests against the government which they all voted for in the 1st place! No F* ing thank you! I' m not going to try and build up something that other assholes just want to break down. I'm not THAT insane!

To cheer things up a little, here's a picture of our very first handful of raspberries (Note the small bug on my finger, our Organic certification ;) 

Pointless things

A good while ago I made a comment on a manically depressed person's blog and I never had any feedback from him since... which made me wonder... did he die? Would he have killed himself? How would I be able to find out? 

I wonder what will happen to my blog when I die? How long before there is no activity will Google shut it down? Does your spouse or best friend get access to all your internet accounts and announce your passing? Do they just delete everything you shared with the virtual world? What happens to your online life when you die?

Anyway, I am just posting to say I'm still alive and well. The past 6 months have been super busy and I'm still not quite on top of all my admin-type things. I still haven't managed to get into anything resembling a routine (flexibility has its disadvantages) and I constantly feel like I'm behind in everything that I have set out to do. This is somewhat depressing, but I must admit that a lot has been done. The problem is just that there is always still so much more to do. It never ends and this is starting to drive me insane. As in really! :( 

One day everything will get better, until then here's a picture of a Rooster ;)

To do lists, bugs and Art

The 31st of May was my very last day of sorting through my files, old papers, notes, etc at work. All the scribbled ideas of what to look into next, rough illustrations of physiological networks that could mean something very significant in future... I threw them all away... well, most of them. As from June 2012 I've officially been unemployed and even though I do have a good couple of plans up my sleeve and some good projects lined up I feel somewhat vulnerable. I studied for 6 whole years in order to obtain 3 degrees behind my name, as a surety for my future financial security, and now I discard all those accolades for the unknown on a road often travelled, but seldom excelled at.

Jelly saying Howzit :)

Emotionally it is extremely hard to discard of all the proof of my work done for the past 4 years, however it is also an act of freeing myself from a weight of responsibility and closing a chapter on what will likely never be my role to play again. It feels enlightening and yet terrifying at the same time. Following the euphoria that resulted from finally being rid of the old responsibilities of scientific research I had to feed the addiction by clearing up some of my very old memoirs at home as well. That was almost even more of a challenge and still a work in progress, since it spans a much longer period and the items have even more sentimental value. However, I am determined to be able to walk to the end of my room without falling over 8 to 12 boxes of Crap! Indeed: some of the boxes are actually labeled "old crap". It's not an easy task at all, especially since I'm quite the hoarder, but in order to move forward you have to discard some of the past or at least make some space to store the new crap ;) So some old sh!t had to go.

The 'Bug hotel' - good bugs sleep for free ;)

Mission: Goose chase!

I am happy to report that our house's snag lists is basically down to 2 snags - which is excellent! At bloody last they will all be out of my hair!! Well, I seriously hope so!? Our fish pond has eventually been fitted with a biological filter, which seems to work splendidly and I can now see the glowing globes of light rising towards my hand at feeding time in stead of the faint blobs floating around what used to look more like pea soup. 

Progress is slow, but it's there. I have completed the tasks of replacing the topsoil for the front garden, trimmed the hedges and some lovely fresh beetroot, carrots and chervil are growing in the spaces between them, since the hedges will take a while to grow into all the space. The beans have all been munched by some garden critter :( ... so, no beans I guess. I've had a load of topdressing delivered and scattered on the lawn, some organic fertiliser added to those who need it most. Things have been happening :) Other than that the garden's looking rather blooming good for early winter.

Welcome to Africa!

OMG, this wind is driving me insane! here in the Cape we have the strongest and most persistent wind for most of Summer :P it so sucks!! If it's not the rain (which results in 3 days of mud in our clay soil), it's the heat or the wind that gets you. This makes any sort of outdoor activity more challenging than it's worth, so the horse's exercise and garden work is much less than it could have been given more acceptable weather conditions.

Genevieve and the Chicken Farm

 Poor ol' Jenn just can't resist these chickens in the garden - I wonder whether we will ever be able to let her off leash while the chickens are "free ranging"?

Not quite there yet...

Our very first little chicken eggs have hatched and the poor dog is fixated with them, drooling over these delicious creatures with intense focus on her face. Quite mini feathery snacks...

 

 Meet Ping... :)
One of the little ones unfortunately didn't make it :( despite efforts to revive it. I put it in the oven (No, not for eating), but the poor little critter was all cold and not strong enough, it was so sad - was such a beautiful little fluffball. Hunny will have to adjust the coop somewhat so that it doesn't get wet inside the nest anymore. After I finally decided to throw the little corps in the dirt bin I couldn't help myself but to have a look every few minutes to see whether Lazarus perhaps miraculously revived, but alas. I must have peeked into the bin about 5 times throughout the afternoon and once in the evening :(

... and Pong <3

Where to jump?

It doesn't exactly require a rocket scientist to realise that my career = headed to a very long, dreary, slow poison kind of eventuality if I am to continue in my current field or department.

I've climbed the scientific ladder just far enough to see the way ahead of me and it's looking grim :p you don't have to reach all the way to the top to realise that your chosen career is very likely a dead end or just not what you want for your future. Its been some (just a little) fun while it lasted, but I've realised that it's the time to jump off. Life and economic climate being what it is will not allow me a steady dismount or decline to a safer level, I have been allowed to take a few steps back just to get a squiz at what's on the ground, but now I will have to find a suitable spot to land. Hmmmm decisions decisions!

Happy 2012!

I guess nobody needs reminding that it's a New Year, but I thought I'd share my semi- failure at Newyears resolutions thus far ;)

I thought that it would be wise to get up in the mornings before work to go riding, to escape the Summer heat, and give myself more time in the afternoons to maybe get to other tasks such as walking Jenni (the puppy-dog). Since I'm already dripping with sweat by 7:30 am (in the shade) it is a very useful resolution and it has worked somewhat. I've managed to be up by 5:50am and at the yard just after 6am a few mornings this month, however, the traffic on the way back makes it necessary to get up even earlier :P Jenn has even gone along on one such occasion. Much to the horse's dismay, as Jenn thought it a fun game to growl at Shala while I was busy cleaning hooves - uhhh, not a clever plan! At least Jenn had a whale of a time and soon passed out in the shade while I finished pushing along my bouncing hippo to get past the sheep in the arena. It was loads of fun - for Jenn, but took a lot of extra time to get everything done, so I resolved to be up even earlier.

Sheesh! What a lot of extra effort I like to create for myself! :P I should really stop making more work for myself and just do what is most necessary. Then again - everything feels most necessary :P

I was perhaps a tad over-ambitious when I set my alarm for 5:05 am this morning (and that after only getting to bed at 11pm last night), since I'm not so good at rising before the sun. Needless to say I just couldn't force myself to get out of bed and slept in till 7. It would probably work better if I increased the difficulty level of my task by smaller incriments - say 5 minutes earlier each day until I can manage 5am? :) I do hope that once I get into a routine it will be easier and go a bit faster and then Jenn can go with every day that I school in the arena. 

Chicken and herb.

 

No, it's not what u'r thinking... I'm referring to our "free range" pet chickens. I eventually found a new young Pekin hen advertised and rushed over to get the last one. She's a little red mix and looks like a "boshoender". She will be fondly known as Katrientjie ;)

 

So Friday, just after Katrien's arrival, the "in-laws" came to visit and I proudly picked up our older little black Pekin hen to show of her soft, fluffy feathers. 5 Min later my skin was crawling with the speedy migration of a few hundred minute little lice - yuck!! When I checked in on our new arrival and after a hilarious little chicken chase around the coop and imminent escape to the outside, I checked on Hettie to see if I can see the lice on her. Boy! Could I see them - her whole face and body was teeming with these little buggers! It was actually disgusting how I have neglected her needs.

 

So, Saturday morning at the crack of dawn, I jumped out of bed to search for organic remedies for these little pests: Consulted my chicken book and all I could find was the conventional wisdom of lice powder (which will surely not be organic) and a few other ideas but no solutions. I decided that I will do a proper scrub down of the entire coop with a strong herbal spray (yet-to-be-determined), put a few drops Apple Cider Vinegar (organic and unfiltered) in the drinking water and provide a suitable sand-pit for dust baths plus some oyster shell grit. I will possibly also have to reconsider what I feed her because I see she doesn't eat all her food and I don't like wasting! I made up my own mix before, but will have to figure out what is best to feed the 2 of them, especially since Katrientjie is a little younger and probably needs more protein.

 

Welcome back Home

Sometime after 11pm on Saturday we arrived back home from a 3 wk trip to Italy. It's a pity that such a beautiful country is so far away from us, since it would be wonderful to go there more often, but without the tedious 18-hour transit back to the Southern tip of Africa. We were up at around 3:30am and had to check our luggage in 2 hours before our 6:30am flight from Rome to Amsterdam, then rush from one terminal to get our connecting flight to Cape Town, which landed at around 10:30pm... without our luggage of course :P

Yup, no awesome holiday is complete without delayed luggage and I only so hoped that we would get it all back in one piece! There were a couple bottles of red wine (Brunello, Chianti and other Tuscan gems) and a brand new pair of Italian leather boots that would certainly have 'disappeared' should any SA staff have decided to 'inspect' it. I unpacked our cute new espresso saucers on the counter with excitement, only to realise that the cups were still in my suitcase. 

International flights are always exhausting, but this one was even more especially so, because it was a day flight and even though we never really think so we do get a little bit more sleep on an evening flight, which makes it seem just a little shorter. I think next time I'm taking some mild sedative to help me get some Z's, because no matter how cheerful, thin and friendly your passenger-next-door is, it's always irritating to sit so close and cooped up next to a stranger. All I wanted for 12 hours was to be back home

 with my pets and without the horrible turbulence (which did provide some good extra effects for my in-flight movie, Kung-fu Panda 2).

Pride, resistance and imperfection

So, it's 10:30pm and I'm standing in the kitchen, making puppy stew ;) with pork mince and goulash - what a spoiled poopy. It's a lot of extra effort I guess, but I just love doing it! And our puppy made me so proud today - twice! First of all she was doing great at the show training classes - didn't growl or act silly once and she did everything the way she should PLUS she stood like a PRO! While we prepared for the show pose a hadeda shouted in the distance. Jenni's ears picked up and then I said "where's the bird?" BIRD!!? She was looking straight in front of her, poised, ready to run, but frozen like a hunting dog - PERFECTION!! Everyone who knew anything about showing was VERY impressed :) Ahhh :) so Proud of our baby!

The second even more proud moment was when Hunny's nieces came to visit and our little hooligan at some stage realised they were small and stood dead quiet for a hug and kiss from the 2 girls - it was SO precious. She just stood there, all frozen,submissive - totally CALM...?? How did this happen?? She was a star and the kids stroked her for several minutes! I have very rarely seen her standing still for such a long time. It was just too sweet!

 

160 Snails

This dog that doesn't want to eat her food is driving me up the wall! :P She's a happy, healthy and playful 8 month old pup, but even though she's getting a super meal with specially cooked chicken mince and very nice looking Woolworths pets mince (plus rice, lentils, little veg etc) twice a day, she still doesn't really want to eat it!?? Not even if I put milk on top?! I really have no more ideas regarding her food preferences. And sometimes she'll eat it later in the day, so it's not something she deems inedible... ??? I weighed her at the vet's the other day and she's already 27 kg, now probably even more. I thought the breed (Irish Red setter) only weighs in at about 28 kg as an adult bitch? But clearly I must be wrong... this means that I have actually been feeding her slightly too little. She often doesn't eat all her food though, so feeding more wouldn't have done any better. The amount of Royal Canin pellets she should get is calculated according to her expected adult weight... the breeders haven't got back to me about how much her mom weighs, so I can get a better estimate. I had one last plan in mind for puppy stew, which I cooked last night, and if that doesn't work she's just gonna get straight pellets every day.

This morning while doing my round in the garden I came across the aftermath of Tuesday night's massacre. I wanted to serve the freshest peas for dinner that night and so, headed out with my raincoat and torch in hand to discover a gazillion snails all over our wonderlawn, then all over the cabbage, the stairs, the walls - basically everywhere! The snails were out having a feast on all my hard work and so I decided to squash all of them. I lost count at around 160 snails and I am quite sure that there will still be more of them. With so many snails in our garden I am VERY surprised that there's anything edible left in our garden!! Clearly the other tricks/gimmicks (beer traps, copper steel-wool, egg shells... etc.) don't quite work. Yesterday I saw the most cutetest little chicks ever! I so almost bought them, I'm sure they'll be very entertained by the fine dining on my snails;) I had specially gone out to buy Organic snail bait yesterday but now I might not need it ;) I think I'll put the bait around my next lettuce and cabbage beds, those seem to be the biggest target for our slimy friends. But WOW! I was really dumbfounded by the amount of snails out in the drizzle! Definitely the easiest way to get rid of those buggers.

Spring is here!!

A special announcement: it is Spring!!

It might not look like it judging by the drizzle outside, but Spring has arrived! As usual Nature doesn't keep to anybody else's time-schedule. Some would say right on time, it depends on your perspective. When I walked through the garden yesterday morning there was already a pleasant warmth in the air and a small gang of caterpillars starting to raid the Naturtiums: so I ran back inside to fetch a pair of surgical gloves so I could squash them as I saw the little buggers! I had learned my lesson about using gloves: I accidentally put my dirty fingers in my mouth after squashing a few of the aphids and inevitable ants :P NOT cool!

A very wet Jenn the weekend after a splash in the river on my grandparents' farm and peach trees in bloom

Another give-away is the poor little battered wisteria that's shooting new leaves. The Bushwillow and Birches have been forming new leaves for a little while already, but the MOST exciting part is the artichoke, which is making its very first blooms! I am genuinely SO ecstatic - I can't wait to eat our very own artichokes and asparagus from the garden (the asparagus will have to wait another 2 years unfortunately, but 2 years zooms past). We will also be munching our very first sugar snap Peas from the garden tonight for dinner.

When u'r feeling blue...

... all you have to do... 
 
is...

 

?
 
No, I donno? U tell me!

 

It scares me to realise how fast the year has gone by! It feels like we've achieved and finished nothing, but in fact we've been very busy with a LOT of different things! One of those things have been the puppy - that certainly kept both of us VERY busy (fun field trials, training, showing, playing, walking, cleaning up where she's destroyed things... the usual). I am happy to report that I have regained at least SOME measure of control over this hooligan of ours, with the help of the "Charlie" (a rolled-up newspaper-friend discussed in the previous post) and that at least to some extent it works to threaten her with "where's Charlie!!". She becomes submissive and stops growling and performing for a while, but she is still a little handfull! I guess some would consider it cheating or not being a very assertive pack leader, but I don't care anymore - I just want to be able to stop our brat from taking over when she feels like it. I think the mission is accomplished, at least as long as we have the Charlie with us ;)

 

Heheee - this is so fresh! As I'm typing (9:40 am)... I get a ping on Facebook from Hunny to say "Room service order: 1 x coffee and 1x kiss please" ;) technology is just so fascinating! He's playing on his iPad in the room while I'm waiting for the puppy to eat her breakfast :) The Suchness :)

Final anecdote (August: chapter 4)

In "chapter 3" I mentioned: "the Suchness of life" Rambling on about how it (Life) is entirely unpredictable, changing and fascinatingly senseless... :) how Life is a dynamic process and there is no predicting what effect one small change will have on the rest of the system"
  
We teach and are taught rules, facts, processes and a LOT of theory and then we try to predict the future and prescribe methods according to these models, when in fact nobody can really predict, prescribe or lecture anything, because the world is constantly changing!

The solution...I hope? (August: chapter 3)

So, I have tried really hard to do everything "by the book" and I still do most of the time... but at some stage you really just have to give in on some rules! eg. I know that a person's "supposed to" let the dog sit (or something sort-like), give their food and then take the bowl away after 15 to 20 minutes... especially when the dog's not eating their food, but this routine is just not working for me. I've tried to follow this rule now for 8 months, but Jenni isn't persuaded.

So now I decided to give up and I leave the food there until she has eaten it or until the next meal when I clean out the bowl. Jenn is already a very slim breed of dog and she's getting a little on the thin side, therefore I'm just breaking this rule from now on - so sue me ;) Some rules are just made to be broken!